Reflections on Asia, Part 2

The second observation about Asia struck me on both my first visit and on this one as well.  This was also something I noticed while in Uganda, when I visited that country a few years back.  What struck me was the importance of relationships.

Life in these two countries, and in much of the world,  is not governed as much by the clock.  And part of the reason for this is that relationships take priority.  You honor people, you show that you care for them, by spending time with them.

Each morning, it seemed, people would arrive to talk to Pastor Luther.  And, although I couldn’t understand their conversation,  I would observe them discussing the matter at hand over a cup of chai.  As we gathered for a house blessing for a couple who was soon to be married, all of the guests were served a meal. They counted it an honor to have guests and to serve them rather than a burden.

Spending time with people, whether they were adults or children, was something we made a priority while we were there.  We taught Bible classes for the kids, and we participated in their youth night.  But there was more to it than the structured class.  There was the visiting before and after each event.  There were the thumb wrestling matches, the arm wrestling matches, and the high-fives.  There were game nights, where all we did was play.  The girls on our team also had sleep-overs with the girls who lived in the orphanage.

As we visited the various congregations, we were hosted for a meal.  And we spent time visiting with the pastors and their families.  We took the time to not only preach the gospel, but to love the people.

Perhaps this doesn’t sound like a very big deal.  But, for me, it’s an area where I struggle.  It’s an area where I’ve always struggled. I’ve always tended to be a very task oriented person. I know what I have to get done, and I don’t feel accomplished until it’s finished.

This is why, in pastoral ministry, I always have to refocus myself.  When I encounter the unscheduled interruptions (when someone stops into my office to talk, or even when I bump into someone around town), I have a tendency to get frustrated.  Although I enjoy the interactions, I start to think about the time I’ve lost and the things that could’ve been accomplished.  This then causes my stress level to rise.  So I always have to remind myself that I am here for these interruptions.  I have to remind myself that these interruptions are, in fact, ministry.  I have to remind myself that, as people see my love for them, they are more open to the teaching and counsel that I bring to them.

I think this is an area where most of us in the U.S. tend to struggle.  In the past few generations, I believe, we’ve become less and less relational. Front porches have given way to the privacy of the back yard. Visits from friends and family have given way to Facebook and Twitter. Movie theaters have given way to Netflix. Pastoral visitation has become more rare as younger generations view it as more of an intrusion. And this has only harmed us as a people.  

We’ve gradually become more and more withdrawn.  We’ve gradually become less and less trusting of one another.  And we’ve gradually become more and more self-reliant (in the negative sense of the term).  

In the church, especially, we must realize the importance of relationships.  We must realize that the best way to reach people is not through programs, but by loving them.  We must learn to govern ourselves less by the clock and more by relationships.