When Wronged

 “And her husband Joseph, being a just man and unwilling to put her to shame, resolved to divorce her quietly.”

‭‭Matthew‬ ‭1‬:‭19‬ ‭ESV‬‬

Each of us has, at one time or another, been wronged. We’ve been violated or treated poorly. And, in those moments, we desire justice.

We want the wrong made right. We want the guilty to receive their due. And we want to be released from any resulting fallout of their actions.

Recognizing this desire, recognizing this tendency, the passage above stands out. It stands out as the description of Joseph’s character is brought before us. And it stands out because two of these aspects don’t seem to fit together.

We read in the first chapter of Matthew that, when Mary had been betrothed to Joseph, and before they had come together, she was found to be with child from the Holy Spirit. The natural assumption, on Joseph’s part, is that Mary had been unfaithful to him. As she was pregnant, and they’d had no relations, the only natural explanation is that she’d been impregnated by another man.

Although we’re told that this pregnancy had occurred in a supernatural way, this would be difficult for anyone to believe. It would be difficult for anyone to accept. In our experience, after all, there is only one way that a woman becomes pregnant.

After hearing this, we’re told that Joseph was a just man. We’re told that he was a righteous man. And we take this to mean that he was a man who was observant of the Word of God and whose faith was expressed in his life.

Our assumption, as we read this, is that he would want the law of God to be upheld. Our assumption is that he would want this apparent wrong to be righted. Our assumption is that he would want to be free of the consequences of Mary’s presumed actions.

However, in addition to being a just man, he was unwilling to put her to shame. He was unwilling to disgrace her. And, for this reason, he resolved to divorce her quietly. 

Although he was going to divorce her due to her apparent unfaithfulness, he wasn’t going to make a big stink of it. He wasn’t going to drag Mary through the mud. He wasn’t going to see that she received the consequences prescribed by the law.

The law of God, you see, said that the adulterer was to be put to death. It said that the adulterer was to be stoned. And by handling this quietly, Joseph sought to protect Mary from this fate.

This is very much in line with the nature and the character of God. It’s in line with his dealings with us. Although we’re sinners and deserve his judgment, he doesn’t want us to suffer this fate. And he’s done everything necessary to spare us from it.

What, then, does this mean for us? What does it mean for us as we seek to be just in the face of wrongdoing? What does it mean for us as we seek to live righteously in a world of sin?

It means loving those who have wronged us. It means being gracious and merciful toward them. Instead of receiving what they deserve, it means desiring that they’d receive the blessing they do not deserve.